Kiss of Snow Mix with my style
by ADarkTouch
Summary: This is basically Kiss of Snow, but with bits and pieces I wanted to happen instead what happened in the book. Anyway, read to find out what happens . HawkexSienna
1. Chapter 1

This is all based from the book "Kiss of Snow" by Nalini Singh. Most of it's going to be from the book but I'm just going to chuck in bits and pieces of what I wanted to happen. It starts at the end of Chapter 11. I hope you like it and review please :)

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><p><em>With that thought circling in her mind, she wasn't in any mood to see Hawke walking out of the trees near the White Zone, where she'd gone to wait for Judd. His wolf-pale eyes spotted her at once, and he changed direction to block out the night in front of her. "Where are you going?" he asked, as if he had every right to know.<em>

"_None of your business." A dangerous silence greeted her words... and she couldn't help herself. "Unless you're pulling rank?"_

_A silence that had her skin stretching tight over her bones, he heartbeat hammering over her ears._

"_Had to push didn't you, Sienna?" Stepping close, close enough that she had to tip her head back to meet his gaze, he took a long, deep breath. "You changed your shampoo."_

_A sudden, melting warmth invaded her body at the sound of his voice–as if he was savouring the scent. "Lara had some samples she gave out to the women in the break room this morning." The SnowDancer healer had been in an edgy kind of mood, so Sienna had kept her mouth shut and taken the sample when it was shoved into her hand. "It's wild apples." She had no idea why she'd said that, why she continued to speak to him._

"_I like it." He lifted his hand to run a strand of her hair through his fingers._

_Fighting every cell in her body, she stepped back. "Stop it. No touching. No acting possessive."_

_Hawke's wolf prowled to the surface, a primal presence behind the human skin. "Oh?"_

"_All or nothing." She held her ground though she was shaking inside, her blood going alternately hot and cold. "If you want me, take me. Or let me go."_

_A slow blink, the force of his personality a pulse against her skin, a near physical push. If she'd been smart, she would've backed down, but this was her emotional life on the line, and she fought too hard to surrender it to anyone. Even an alpha wolf used to dominance. "I just found out," she said through a throat that was suddenly bone dry, "that none of the boys are going to ask me out after the scene you pulled at Wild._

"_Take out an ad if you need to," she continued when the wolf watched her without blinking, "but make sure they know I'm not yours." Her need for him was a claw ripping at her insides. When he finally slept with Rose, or another packmate, it would savage her–she couldn't control that, but she damn well could ensure she didn't have to suffer the humiliation of being publicly discarded._

_A low growl made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Staying in place hard, so hard, when all she wanted to do was back down and crawl all over him. __**No. No more. He plans to take a lover. **__The mental reminder of what he intended to do to sate his wolf's touch–hunger was the last straw. "I mean it, Hawke." She was done throwing herself at a man who didn't want her._

"_So decisive," he said in that calm tone that had adrenaline flooding through her body, the primitive part of her brain conscious she was in the presence of a predator. "Got you eye on someone?"_

**(My part starts from here. Most of it is from the book. Okay, maybe the whole thing and I'm just chucking in things that I want to happen instead of happens in the book. I don't own any of it. I't's all Nalini Singh's.)**

**Sienna's POV**

I knew I should've said no. Should've just left him standing there and walked away instead of egging his wolf on more. But I couldn't help it. It just wasn't in my nature to back down to him. "As a matter of fact," I replied hotly, holding my chin up high. "I do."

Those wolf-pale blue eyes turned into slits and a much louder, much ferocious growl emitted from deep within his chest. His hands clenched into fists by his sides and his body was shaking a little bit. "Who?" He growled.

I flinched at the force of his growl, but still held my ground. "Not that it's any of your business," another growl, "but it's Kit."

His whole body started to shake and I could see him trying to fight for control. His wolf was about to take over, and even though the man tried to rein it in, it was too hard. For any other changeling, their animal side would've won, but Hawke wasn't any other changeling. He was alpha. SnowDancer's alpha wolf. This meant that he had the strength to rein in his wolf at times like these. He wasn't alpha for nothing.

Refusing to be intimidated, I glance over his shoulder. "Excuse me, my rides here."

Hawke stepped sideways to block me. "No."

My body threatened to lock me into place, the impact of him so strong. Only my fury kept me going. "_Move_."

Ignoring my command, he continued to hold my gaze with that wild-wolf one even though he directed his next words at Judd, who just hopped out of the SUV. "Where are you taking her?"

"We're heading down to see Sascha, but I've just had a contact I need to chase up fast." Judd looked at me. "Okay if we delay this till tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"No need." Hawke smiled and held his hand back for the keys. "I can drive her to the cats."

I stared at Judd, sending him telepathic messages that seemed to go unheard. "No that's fine," I said out loud. "I can wai–"

But Judd was already handing Hawke the keys. "Better you go down tonight," he said. "Since the visit's been cleared with Sascha's security."

"I can drive." I pointed out through gritted teeth to the wolf blocking my way. "Judd was only coming with me because he wanted to take part in the discussion." I held out my hand. "I don't need a babysitter."

To my shock, it was Judd who stopped my escape attempt. "It's late. You've never driven this route in the dark–and it'll be darker still by the time you head back."

_What is _wrong_ with you?_ I telepath to Judd. _I cannot be in a car alone with him. _Especially when those ice blue eyes had gone slightly aglow.

_Deal with it._ It was a pitiless response. _If you need that to be an order from a lieutenant, then consider it done._

I clenched my jaw, but no way was I about to disobey an order and bring my maturity into question yet again. So it was either I let Hawke drive me or I stayed where I was. I was tempted to pick the second option, but I really wanted to see Sascha and I wasn't going to give Hawke the satisfaction of knowing he derailed my plans.

"I'll wait in the car."

I was comfortable in the passenger seat; my earphones in my ears, by the time Hawke finished talking with Judd and got into the driver's seat. He didn't say anything until he'd turned the SUV around and we were on our way. Then he leaned over and pulled out the earphone on his side.

"Hey!"

He managed to grab my iPod from my lap, too, throwing it over his shoulder into the backseat. "I don't like being ignored."

I set my jaw and twisted in my seat, reaching for my iPod. He let me find it... to take it off me an instant later with changeling speed. It landed on the backseat again, along with the earphone in his hand. "Next time I throw it out the window."

"I could –" I let out an aggravated breath and removed the remaining earphone, placing it on a tray on the dashboard. "Now who's being childish?"

He shrugged and relaxed into his seat when I made no effort to retrieve my iPod. "Country and western?" he said as he navigated the forest track SnowDancer kept deliberately crude, with plenty of low hanging foliage to deter the use of hover facilities–to make sure no one could sneak up on the den by ground vehicle. "I would've picked you as a rock' n' roll kind of girl."

I ignored him in favour of staring out the window.

He didn't like being ignored? Well I didn't like it when people ripped out my earphones and throw my iPod in the backseat.

It was hard though, to ignore two-hundred pounds of muscled male wolf when he didn't want to be ignored. Reaching over, he tugged on a strand of my hair. "Tell me about Kit."

I pushed his hand away, but only because he let me. "Kit is smart, sexy and gorgeous. A total package." He was also wickedly funny and charming in a way only a feline could be. It was too bad I had a terrible taste of hunger for a wolf.

I saw Hawke's hands tighten on the manual steering wheel. "A real prince."

"You could learn something from him."

"Careful." A quiet warning. "You only get to push so far."

I was too mad and sad and hurting to care. "Wow," I said with a wide-eyed look of mock amazement. "You lasted an entire _two_ minutes before pulling rank."

That's when he did something that completely shocked me; he laughed. It was an open, natural sound, and it held my absolute and undivided attention. Hawke rarely laughed like that, and never with her. With such open joy, his wolf in his voice, in his face. "You can be a real brat."

It was so difficult to maintain a tough front when his laugh had wrapped around me like a rough caress, destroying my defences, but I couldn't see that, see how very vulnerable I was when it came to him. "Doesn't make me wrong."

"Fine," he said. "When it's just us, there's no rank, no alpha, no soldier. Only Hawke and Sienna."

I never, in a million years, expected to succeed in getting him to put aside the hierarchy. My breath was stuck in my throat, my palms suddenly all clammy.

"Lost for words?" A glance of ice-blue before he returned his attention to the forest track.

Since Hawke's eyes never changed colour, no matter his form, most people found it impossible to tell whether they were talking to the man or the wolf. But I always knew. _Always_. The power inside of me recognised the same wild energy in the wolf who was Hawke's other half. "No," I said at last, "just wondering how long you'll be able to hack it before you fall back on those rules."

"Keep pushing, baby." He murmured in that low, deep voice that touched places in her body it had no business touching. "We'll see what it gets you."

"Frustration!" I said, throwing caution to the winds on an adrenaline-fuelled rush of courage. "That's all it's ever gotten me. If sexual attraction followed any kind of logical rule, I'd be in bed with Kit instead of sitting next to a man too scared to take a chance."

A charged silence.

I couldn't believe I had said that. I went too far, and coming from me, that meant something. Hawke was alpha–whether or not rules were currently in operation between the two of us–which meant he was dominant beyond any Psy or human man, and most changeling males, too. Men like that did not like having their strength questioned on any level.

"After your meeting with Sascha," he said, his tone silky with menace, "that's when we'll talk about fear."

I leaned back in my seat, trying to control my racing heartbeat. I had no doubt that he could hear it. But I was Psy, had been Ming's protégée. I wasn't about to let anyone scare me off–not even a predatory changeling wolf so lethal, the feral wolves treated him as their leader.

A growl filled the vehicle, filled my senses, just as we entered the lane the led to a small lane not far from Lucas and Sascha's home. "You taste of ice."

"It's necessary." I said with manufactured calm. "You know it is." He'd caught me in an active state not long before I left the den to spend several months with the cats, seen firsthand what I could do. I'd chosen an isolated section to attempt my experiments at harnessing the fury of the X-marker, but an hour into it, I'd turned around and there he was, a huge wolf, proud and beautiful.

Now, he didn't answer as he brought the vehicle to a halt. Getting out, I took a deep breath, feeling as if she'd escape a deep breath, feeling as if she'd escaped the lair of the SUV. Oh God. All eyes of ice blue and hair of silver-gold, he was her every fantasy come to life.

And he was focused on me to the exclusion of all else.

I wet my dry lips, saw his yes follow the movement. "Stop it."

A small smile tugged at his lips. I got out of the SUV and just as I closed the door pure, heated wolf muscle trapped me between him and the closed door. I looked up at him, my heart beating erratically and my breathing hitched. I pressed myself right up against the door, not wanting to make contact with him, knowing that if I did then all my defences would shatter and I'd be back at square one.

"Please move." I said as politely as I could, holding back the snarl in my throat.

He didn't, of course. He just stood in front of me and stared. The heat from his body radiating off him and I wanted to press myself up against him so bad, so bad that it ached everywhere in my body to not have his touch.

"You need to go away while I'm talking with, Sascha." I told him, seeing as he wasn't going to move and I needed something to distract me from his body being so close to mine.

"I'll go for a run," he gave curt nod, "twenty minutes enough time?"

"Try an hour." I replied; there were so much things going on with me that I needed to blurt out to someone and Sascha was the right person to do just that. She would give me advice and help me with my problems, just like she had been a few weeks ago with trying to hone my abilities and put up my defences again.

He nodded and the turned in the direction of Sascha and Lucas's home, only to see the leopard alpha appear out of thin air and make his way towards Hawke and I.

"Hi, Luc." I greeted him as he came to stand next to wolf alpha, Hawke.

"Hey, Sienna," he smiled at me warningly, making me feel welcomed and protected. "Sascha's waiting for you."

I nod and make my way over to where I can see Sascha, standing out on the porch, hands gripping the railing, smile on her face.

I make my way up the steps and greet her. "Thanks again for meeting me, Sascha."

"Hush," she cups my face with a frown. "You are always welcome here Sienna."

I smile at her and take in her form. Sascha was nine months pregnant and was due day now. She wore a long yellow maternity dress with a creamy coloured cardigan on over the top. I didn't know much about pregnant woman. I was never there when my mother was pregnant with Toby so I don't really know how it goes, but I didn't think Sascha should be standing.

"Uh, Sascha," I said, eyes darting to where I had come from in the woods, to see if Luc was within range, "shouldn't you be sitting down?"

Sascha frowned at my comment. "Sienna, don't make me deck you."

My talk with Sascha was over and I was heading back to the SUV. I wanted to talk to her some more but I could tell that she was exhausted and wanted to catch some sleep. So I decided I could talk to Sascha another time.

Taking in her advice and thinking it over and over in my head. It was good advice, but was it advice that I was going to take? I had already made up the decision to just leave him be. Why should I chase someone who wasn't even interested in chasing me back? Why should I keep humiliating myself any longer for something that was only one sided? I was not going to be made a fool. Not now, not ever.

I found Hawke and Luc waiting at the SUV talking about alpha things and what's the best way to protect the pack from any danger that would come their way. Probably scenting me getting closer their heads lifted up and I saw Luc smile. But it wasn't at me. It was at his mate who had decided to follow me out and make sure I got to the car. Luc made his way over to Sascha and wrapped his arms from behind her, arms laying on her stomach and rubbing it protectively and then giving a kiss to her temple. Envy ran through me at the sight. They were so calm together, so at ease with each other it tugged at a piece of my heart. Knowing that I couldn't have that with one person I wanted that with. I stole a quick glance at Hawke and saw him staring at Sascha. He liked Sascha, that much I knew, but what I didn't know was how much he liked her. Or even if he did like her romantically and only liked her to piss off the leopard alpha to get a reaction.

"Hello Sascha, darling." His tone was flirtatious and sexy, a pang in my chest as I saw a glint of something in his eyes. "Miss me?"

Sascha smiled at him. "Terrible man."

"Get out of here wolf, before I rip you throat out." Luc grumbled but in a half-teasing, half-serious tone.

Hawke chuckled and made his way to the driver's seat of the SUV. I hopped in the passenger side and waved at Luc and Sascha as we sped off.

**Hawke's POV**

"Want to go for a run?" I asked when we hit the edge of den territory. "I promise not to chase you."

A lush burst of feminine arousal had me gritting my teeth to fight his body's instinctive response. "I'm nowhere near as fast as you," she said at last. "Not like Judd."

"Don't have to go fast." I shrugged the wolf happy because she hadn't said no. "Sometimes it's just about feeling the wind against your face, the earth under your feet."

She tugged the sleeves of her checked shirt to her fingertips. "Okay."

"It's cold out." The Sierra Nevada had slipped into the quiet beauty of night, the heat of the sun's rays long gone. "There should be a sweatshirt in the back you can wear."

Twisting in her seat, she reached for the sweatshirt... and her music player. Shooting me a dirty look, she put her iPod in the space on the dash and undid her safety belt long enough to put on the large grey sweatshirt.

That quickly she was covered in my scent.

Watching her roll up the sleeves to her wrists, I hid my possessive satisfaction behind a lazy comment. "You're kinda small, Sienna." She never seemed that way, her personality that of someone much larger and stronger–I bet if I asked people in the den to describe her, most would give her at least a foot of extra height, more muscle.

"Maybe you're too big." She continued to fold up the sleeves with methodical precision.

Grinning at being so politely insulted, I didn't say anything until I'd parked the vehicle a little ways from the den. Sienna was more than strong enough to cover the remaining distance on foot. "Ready?"

She was already opening the door. "I don't recognise this area."

I wasn't surprised. Den territory was vast, sprawling wilderness, most it inaccessible to vehicles–and unlike wolves, Sienna couldn't explore as much area on foot. "I want to show you something."

She clambered over a fallen tree on the path, and I had to stop myself from reaching over and picking her up, caressing her waist with my hands as I slid her oh-so-slowly to her feet. Her movements were smooth and lithe–Indigo had done a good job with her training, but it was Sienna's will that had led her to becoming as good as she was. Hawke knew the offensive capability of each and every soldier in the pack, and–putting aside her psychic abilities–Sienna was exceptional for someone who wasn't changeling.

"A little farther," he said when they reached a stand of conifers intertwined with a delicate green vine.

Picking up a small pinecone off the forest floor, Sienna rubbed her thumb over the rough edges. "Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

I caught the nervous bite in her scent, caught, too, the determination.

My gut clenched. "_Sienna_." Hurting her was the last thing I wanted to do, but I wouldn't lead her on. "I have plans."

Cardinal eyes slammed into mine. "Rosalie?" A single frigid word.

He's an adult wolf, who happens to be a friend."

"As opposed to an immature girl you can't stand." A challenge, the gauntlet thrown.  
>I picked it up. "I need something she can give me." Rosalie was wolf enough to accept and offer the physical intimacy my wolf craved without expecting a depth of commitment I simply couldn't give... and much as much as I valued her friendship, Rosalie didn't tempt me to brand her with my claim, even knowing it would destroy her in the end.<p>

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><p><em><strong>I hope you like it :) Again most of the things in this story is all from the book and I'm just chucking in things that I wanted in it instead of the things that were in the book. Anyway, review this please :)<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

**_"All I want is everything, yes everything_**

**_Too much is not enough_**

**_I'm sick of settling for inbetween_**

**_And I'm not giving up_**

**_As long as it feels right_**

**_At least we know that we're alive_**

**_All I want is everything, yes everything yeah, oh"_**

**All I want is everything by Victoria Justice**

**I thought that it was a good song for Hawke and Sienna :) :) I hope you like it. Review this please :)**

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><p><strong>Sienna's POV<strong>

The pinecone dug into my palm, but I hardly felt it against the pain of the body bow Hawke had just delivered. Why had I asked the question when I'd already known the answer? It was nothing a Psy–a true Psy–would've ever done. But when it came to this man, I had as little control as the child he called her. "Is it enough? I asked with a fury that sought to draw blood. "Just the physical act."

"Don't try and bring it down to that." Cold, cold words. "You've been in the den long enough to know we don't use each other."

No, they didn't. That made it so much harder to bear. With wolves, sexual contact was warm and joyful and treasured. Rosalie would lie with Hawke with a packmate's genuine affection, luxuriating in having a partner who could ease her own physical needs sp very well–because while I might be inexperienced, I understood that Hawke would never leave a woman unsatisfied. He was too much the dominant male to except anything but total erotic surrender in bed.

And when he and Rosalie parted, whether it was after a day or after a month, it would be with smiles and laughter. I'd seen the same with other members of the pack, knew that several of my friends were involved in affectionate, sensual relationships that wouldn't be permanent–but would be respected and cherished.

"I'm sorry," I forced myself to say, nausea curdling my stomach. "That was uncalled for." Chest so tight it ached, I said, "Is this the way to the den?" glad that my voice came out calm, betraying none of the hurt that had me curling into a ball inside my mind. Because it didn't matter how much time alone I had with him if I had to spend my nights knowing those strong hands were stroking over another woman's skin, another woman's breasts.

"No"–his voice a low caress, an unintended taunt–"it's a small detour."

"I'd like to go back." At that moment, the last thing I wanted was to be here, with him, not when I could almost hate him for what he was able to do to me.

"Throwing a tantrum, Sienna?" Ruthless words, that caressing tone suddenly a blade. "I thought you'd retired the spoilt brat act."

_How would you feel if the woman you wanted beyond all other planned to take another man into her bed?_ I didn't yell the words, holding on to my tattered pride. _Enough_. Just ...enough. Some things, a woman could not accept and live with herself. "Why are we here?" she asked in a voice touched with ice. "Why are we walking under the stars late at night?"

Wolf-pale eyes gleaming at me in the dark, the gaze of a man used to getting exactly what he wanted. "We're packmates. It's a beautiful night. Simple as that."

"Bullshit." A harsh rejection that scraped my throat raw. "You're giving me just enough to make sure I can't forget you and not enough to go against your all-important principles. Well fuck you." Quiet, quiet words, because I would not scream and yell, would not allow him to see me break. "I don't want the crumbs from your table." Turning on my heels, I started heading through the trees in the direction I thought would lead home.

"_Sienna."_

I could not, would not, stop. If I did, he'd see the tears burning at the backs of my eyes, see what he did to me, and my humiliation would be complete.

"Stop right now."

The words were right against my ear, the wolf having moved with unnatural speed. It was too much. I snapped.

**Hawke's POV**

I was about to close my hand around Sienna's nape when she twisted to face me, her eyes devoid of stars. Knowing what she could do, I expected an attack, but she took a deep breath, dropped her head ...and went up in flames.

A violent red licked with streamers of amber, the inferno gave off no heat, and yet I knew without a doubt that it was lethal beyond anything known to man. Fighting the wolf's frenzied attempts to reach out, to protect, I forced myself to stand in place and look, really look. She was fine inside the blaze. No, not fine. Every muscle in her body went rigid; her hair blowing off her face in a savage psychic breeze, but whatever the fire demanded from her, her skin remained untouched.

Even being able to see her face, the ten seconds she spent in the heat of flame were the longest of my life. "Do that again," he growled the instant the fire blinked out, "and I swear I'll throw you into the lake."

She raised her head, embers continuing to flicker in her eyes. "I'd like to see you try."

The wolf wasn't used to being so flatly challenged. "What the fuck was that?" I'd seen her exercising her ability before, but never like this, until she was consumed by it.

"A simple energy release." She began to walk away from him again.

My wolf saw red. "Baby, if –"

"Don't. Call. Me. Baby." Turning on her heel, she stared at me, her gaze potent with such destructive power, lesser men might've trembled.

But I was an alpha wolf, and if Sienna thought she was going to make me back off, she had another thing coming. "I'll call you anything I damn well please." I stepped into her personal space, until she had to either step back or have her breasts brush against his chest with every breath.

She held her ground, ironically pleasing the wolf. "The only man," she said, her words wrapped in that cold darkness I hadn't seen in her since the first few days after her defection, "I'll allow to use that particular endearment will be my lover. You are no longer in the running for the position."

The rage that tore through me was a ravaging beast full of claws and teeth. But he bit back the primal demands that wanted to escape. I wanted to say the words that would keep her with me a while longer, but I couldn't form any words and just watched as she walked off through the trees.

**Sienna's POV.**

A few days had passed and I spent them all avoiding Hawke. I didn't want to see him let alone acknowledge him, and he did the same. I didn't see him at alland a part of me was a little hurt by the fact that he didn't come and see me at all, but another part of me was glad that he didn't come by.

I did my daily routine. Get up early, go for a short run through the forest, shower and change, do my duties and watch the den's perimeter, then go see Toby and Marlee, spend some time with them, and then maybe some of my friends.

"Sienna!" I turned my head at the call and I saw Evie running up towards me and then she just slammed into me, enveloping me in a hug, practically crushing my bones.

"Evie," I gasped out as she let go of me. "What's up?"

"I heard a couple of the guys talking and I just had to see you," she pulled me in for another hug. "I'm so sorry."

I stared at her with confusion. What the hell was she saying sorry for? "Why are you sorry?"

Guilt lit up in her eyes. "You haven't heard?" _Obviously not._ "You haven't heard."

I was still completely in the dark. I had no idea what she was going on about and the way she looked at me was just confusing me even more. "Heard what? Evie, what the hell is going on with you?"

She looked around her and then she grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me into a dark corner where no one could hear or see us. "Okay," she breathed out, struggling to find the right way to say whatever it is she has to tell me. "I overheard Lake and a few of the guy talking this morning about Hawke, and I heard one of them say when they were getting back from their shift of working the perimeter that they saw some hot chick doing the walk of shame out of Hawke's quarters. Lake said that it was probably Rosalie because he saw her heading into his place last night and she was 'smoking hot'," she used air quotes, "and they said that when she left his place they had a heated kiss."

My jaw tightened, my body tensed up, and my hands balled up into fists. My whole body shook with so many emotions. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the tears from spilling down my face.

He did it. He actually ended up sleeping with Rosalie. I can't believe it. I thought that we had something, some sort of attraction between the two of us and maybe that was enough for him to get it through his head and actually s_ee me_. I guess not.

"I'm –"

"I'm sorry Evie," I cut her off and turn away so she can't see that the tears had already started to form in my eyes. "Excuse me." And I ran. I ran all the way back to my family's quarters, grabbed a bag and then shoved a bunch of clothes in it. The tears started to flow even more now and I sunk down, back against the wall and brought my knees up to my chest and I cried.

I could feel my walls starting to crumble slowly one by one. I squeezed my eyes shut to hold them up but I couldn't.

The door to my room slammed open, hitting the wall with a _BANG!_

"Sienna?" My Uncle Walker walked into the room, saw me curled up in the corner of my room crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes but they just kept coming and it wouldn't stop. I felt my heart breaking bit by bit and it was hurting so back. Images flashed through my head of Hawke and Rosalie. Images of them lying in bed together, entangled in one another, his hands on her body, brushing every inch of her and I felt like vomiting. My insides started to turn, tears spilling down my face more freely.

"Sienna," Walker moved closer to me, hesitating, not knowing what to do. "What's wrong? Toby said he felt something through the Net."

I couldn't form any words, at least not the ones to tell him why I was crying. I mean, what was I going to tell him, the guy that I like slept with someone else. That was just pathetic. And to tell my Uncle that was extremely pathetic. I couldn't tell Walker this, he'd tell me to just get over it and that Hawke was too old for me anyway. I did not need a lecture, what I needed was to get out of here. Right now.

I placed my head in between my knees and took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down and stop crying. I needed to get over this. I needed to move on. And what just happened with Hawke was just the icing on the cake. It now meant that I could move on, find someone else and build a life with. Hawke had moved on, even though I'm not sure he liked me romantically anyway, so if he doesn't care about how I feel then why should I care about how he feels? I'm over it. I am _so _over it. I ran my hands over my face to get rid of the tears and stood up grabbing my bag and shoving some more clothes in it.

"Sienna, what are you doing? Where are you going?" Walker's confused and worried tone made me jump and reminding me that he was still in the room.

"I-I n-need to g-get out of here." I stuttered a bit, my voice a little shaky.

I felt his presence come up behind me and he put a hand on my shoulder, making me squeeze my eyes shut to stop more tears from spilling out and took another breath. My Uncles, niece Marlee, brother Toby and me defected from the Psy net two years ago and came into the SnowDancer pack and ever since then we were all getting used the idea of touch. Since the whole pack was brought up on being touched and stuff, Psy weren't, so it took us a while to get used to people comforting us. Especially Judd and Walker since they were the adults out of all of us, but I think Walker is still learning to accept being touched and touching people. Judd, not so much since he's mated to a changeling wolf, Brenna Kincaid, so he gets touched quite a lot.

_Okay, gross, bad image!_

"I'm going to see if I can stay in DarkRiver land for a while," I tell Walker and he gives me a small squeeze to my shoulder. "I need to get away. Rebuild my shields."

And recover from this humiliation.

Silence behind me, and then he said, "Do you need me to talk to Hawke?"

I froze.

Crap! I forgot I had to get permission from the SnowDancer alpha to go down to DarkRiver lands. Not to mention I hadn't even asked Luc and Sascha if I was even allowed. Crap!  
>"No, that's okay," I finally reply and hoist my duffle bag over my shoulder. "I'll handle it."<p>

Walking over to my quarters I pulled out my cell phone from my back pocket and rung Sascha. Asking her if it was alright for me to stay there for a while and making up some lie about my mental walls collapsing–which wasn't really a lie, Sascha already knew why my shields collapsed in the first place so I didn't really need to tell a lie, but I wasn't going to tell her about my melt down or about Rosalie and Hawke–and that I needed to get away from the den for a bit. She replied with a soothing and understanding tone, and said that she has to clear things with Lucas, her mate and DarkRiver alpha, first, before we do anything and told me she would get back to me in a few hours. Accepting and going to my quarters to grab some of the necessities such as; toiletries, some more underwear and bras, and more clothes. Squeezing everything into my duffle bag and heading out the door only to smack right into the guy that managed to squeeze his way into my life. The guy that thought of me as his little sister and brought me back my favourite chocolates every time he came back from business outside of the den.

"Going somewhere?" Drew Kincaid raised an eyebrow at me and folded his arms over his chest.

"What do you want, Drew?" I frowned at him and clutched the strap of my bag to my side.

"One of the juveniles was saying they saw you crying," he said and tilted my chin up with his thumb and forefinger, lifting my head up so he could see into my eyes.

I jerked my head away and pushed pass him. "What happened?" Drew's footsteps sounded behind me.

"Just leave it, Drew." I grumbled as a reply and kept walking hoping he would give up and leave me alone. But I knew he wouldn't. This was Drew we were talking about. One of the most stubborn wolves in the den, he was never going to give up.

I came to a halt and took a deep breath before turning to face him. "My abilities are... overflowing, I need to go back to Sascha's and get a handle on my shields. Rebuild them again."

His eyes narrowed. "That still doesn't answer why you were crying." God, he just wasn't going to let this go.

My jaw tightened. "I had a bad dream."

"You think I'm an idiot?" He ran a finger down my cheek.

I closed my eyes for a brief second. "It's the truth," I turned on my heels and walked off. "Believe me, don't believe me. I don't really care." And he never followed me after that. I was alone. Just like it's supposed to be.

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><p><strong>I hope you like this and don't forget to Review. :DD<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay, so remember I don't own any of this. It all belongs to Nalini Singh. The characters, the story. I'm just throwing in my own little twist. :) I hope you like this and don't forget to review this story . Please and Thank you :DD**_

_**xoxo - ADarkTouch**_

**"I cant explain what's gotten into me**  
><strong>My sanity is in the passenger seat<strong>  
><strong>I let her drive me she is my guide<strong>  
><strong>We're flying reckless tonight<strong>

**Direct me to the floor**  
><strong>And turn it up some more<strong>  
><strong>Imma get it on on on on x2<strong>

**She makes me wanna**  
><strong>Oh oh oh oh oh oh<strong>  
><strong>Makes me wanna<strong>  
><strong>Oh oh oh oh oh oh<strong>

**London to jamaica**  
><strong>La to africa<strong>  
><strong>She makes me wanna<strong>  
><strong>Oh oh oh oh oh oh<strong>  
><strong>Makes me wanna<strong>  
><strong>Oh oh oh oh oh oh<strong>

**I think her eyes are hypnotizing me**  
><strong>Something about her turns me into a wild beast<strong>  
><strong>I mesmerized, down for the ride<strong>  
><strong>Flying reckless tonight"<strong>

**_JLS ft Dev: She Makes Me Wanna ! (Love this song :DD)_**

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><p>I stood outside Hawke's office. I really didn't want to see him. Not after what Evie told me, but seeing him was my way out.<p>

_Suck it up, Sienna!_ I told myself.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" A deep voice sounded from behind the door.

I opened the door and saw Hawke sitting behind his desk, papers scattered across it and him just staring off into space. His head popped up as soon as I walked into his office. No one else was in sight. Good.

He looked up at me through his thick eye lashes and my heart started pounding in my chest, not to mention break at the same time. Part of me wanted to jump him on sight but the other part of me wanted rip his head off. I was overwhelmed with images of him and Rosalie, both entangled in each other, sweaty, in Hawke's bed, touching intimately, whispering sexy things in her ear. I felt vomit creeping up my throat, wanting to rush out of my mouth but I swallowed it back and closed the door behind me. It was so hard to stand here before him. To see him after knowing what he did last night. But it was either go to DarkRiver or stay here and see his face every day with nothing but him rolling around naked with Rosalie. I wanted to vomit at the thought of it. I had to get out. I couldn't take the torture anymore, not to mention the humiliation. Rosalie was probably off somewhere laughing about me. Thinking how pathetic I was to throw myself at the alpha of SnowDancer and get turned down multiple times. Well, if Hawke was trying to send a message to me that he was the least bit interested in me then he sure did the right thing. It worked alright. Tears started to build out in my eyes but I was not going to cry here. Not in front of him. No way in hell.

"Sienna –"

"I need permission to go down to DarkRiver for a few days." I cut him off wanting to get straight to the point. The tone of my voice came out more icily then intended.

He sat in his chair and studied me for a while before answering. "Why?"

"Because, my abilities are getting out of control and I need to get away from the den." I told him, my tone of voice steady and held no emotion. I sounded like a robot, like I had stood in front of the mirror and recited that line over and over again until I got it right.

The way he looked at me sent chills up my spine and I had to fight the urge to shiver in front of him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of him knowing what he did to me with a single look. So I held my ground in front of him, face clear of emotion, hands at my side clenched into fists. It was like he saw right through my lie, like he knew the real reason why I wanted to go to DarkRiver, which knowing him he probably did. Good.

"Permission not granted." He finally said and turned away.

I stood there for a second. Not knowing what just happened.

"_What?_" I exclaimed and his eyes shot up to meet mine, giving me a withering glare.

"You heard me." His voice was levelled, calm. And I hated that.

"I don't think you heard me," I grumbled. "My–"

"I can assure you," he stood up, palms down on his desk, "I heard you _perfectly_ clear." As if to say, I know the real reason why you want to go down there and it's not happening.

"Then give me permission." I demanded and that ignited a growl from deep within his chest. Okay, that time I shivered. Not out of fear, but out of sheer attraction. His wolf was closer to him than any other changeling I knew, but that was the cause of becoming an alpha at such a young age. Fifteen to be exact. God, this man could make putty out of me.

The growl that emitted from his chest seemed to echo throughout the whole room, freezing me on the spot and suddenly he was right in front of me, chest pressed up against mine. The peaks from my breast stiffened at his close proximity. It was like sparks were radiating off his body and making my whole body tingled with anticipation, hoping to get some skin-to-skin contact.

_Stop it, Sienna!_ I chided myself. He slept with someone else, he doesn't want me. So why bother chasing after a man who has made it very clear that I'm not his type. I should just save the humiliation and stop fighting the obvious.

"You," he whispered in my ear making goose bumps to rise on my arms and the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up, "do not get to tell me _what_ to do."

I stood perfectly still. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach, still undecided on whether they're good butterflies or bad.

"I talked to Sascha," I told him, hoping my voice showed no sign of fear at his strict–and slightly scary–tone of voice. "She said that it was fine if I came down."

Another growl. "She does _not_ get to make that decision. I do."

"Well it's good to know that you'll put me before the well-being of you pack." I replied bitterly. I knew it was a low blow and completely untrue, but I was gripping at straws here. I needed something. Anger and hurt driving me to talk back to him.

The next thing I knew I was being pushed up against the wall, the palms of his hands slamming against the wall on either side of my head, trapping me between him and the wall.

"I would stop _right_ there," he whispered low and threatening in my ear, "If I were you."

"You're not me." I retorted.

He gave another growl and then sunk his teeth into me. I gasped at the feeling and jerked forward a bit. One hand went to the nape of my neck while the other went to my hip, pulling me closer and holding me in place. My hands flew to his arms, gripping at them and feeling his muscles flex under my grip. I was in heaven right now. I loved the feel of his mouth on my neck it made my eyes roll in the back of my head. A damp heat rushed to my core. I felt his teeth retract from my neck only to be replaced his lips. I gave out a blissful sigh and leaned my head to the side a bit as an invitation to give me more. I could stay here forever.

But the blissful haze was suddenly clouded over by images in my head of Rosalie and Hawke, which made vomit make its way to my mouth. I tried to push him away but it wasn't working. He just wouldn't budge. So I did the only thing I knew how to get him off me.

I raised a fine line of X-fire where he gripped me.

He wrenched away with a snarl. "You burned me." The wolf. Very much the wolf.

Raising my hand to my shoulder, I touched the lingering heat of his bite. "Just a warning." I'd been careful not to burn, only to threaten. "I don't like having your teeth in me."

His eyes gleamed. "Liar."

I couldn't hold back my gasp as he was suddenly in my face again, but found the will to say, "_I _am _not_ yours. Take out an ad and let _everyone_ know that."

He growled as he traced the bite mark with his thumb. "You have no right to come into my office and demand things from me, Sienna. You know I don't take too lightly to demanding little brats."

The words stuck me cold. As if someone had thrown a bucket of ice over me. That's what did me. My whole body was shaking with fury, and my powers were hanging by a thread. I had to get away from him. Right now.

I pushed him away with all of my strength and walked to the door. "I'll come back when you're being reasonable." With those anger fuelled words I slammed the door and took off down the hallway and heading off somewhere far off in the woods where I could "Earth" my energy.

**Hawke POV**

I stood there completely gobsmacked by what had just happened. God, that girl angered me to no end. She infuriated the hell out of me. Who the hell did she think she was to come into my office and demand things from me? Alpha? God, she pissed me off. But the way she looked at me when she would meet my gaze held so much hurt that made my wolf rattle at its chains. I didn't know what was up with her. The sudden urge to go down to DarkRiver infuriated me. Was it because of what happened a few days ago? Was that why she wanted to leave? Or did she just want to go down there to spend a few days with that... cub? God I hoped not. Just the thought of them together in _any_ way made me want to drive down there and rip him to shreds. No matter the consequences. I know that I play a part of her shields crumbling, but was it that bad that it hurt her? I didn't want her to leave, that's the last thing that I want. It's hard to send any member of my pack away. But Sienna was more than a pack member to me. It just wasn't going to be anything that she wanted it to be.

The feel of her skin on my mouth still lingered. I felt the blood rush up to where my mouth was and the smell of her arousal filled my senses. The smell of her wild spice scent just made me want to... devour her. She replied with a snark comment saying she didn't like my teeth in her, but as soon as my lips touched her skin I could all but taste her arousal in my mouth, so I immediately called her out on her lie. She drove me wild some times. Okay not _some_ times, _all_ the time. Just being around her did that. It takes all of my will power and self-control not to slam her up against something and take her.

Last night I had an itch that needed to be scratched more than ever. So I invited Rosalie over to my place and pounced on her. With Rosalie, it didn't mean anything. It never would. It was just simply a friend helping out another friend. We had sex last night, a lot. But when neither of us could take anymore we just lay on my bed talking. But Indigo was right. No matter who I got to scratch the itch, as long as it wasn't from the right person, then it was always going to be there. Just waiting for her to scratch it. But after the look in her eyes and my harsh words, I doubt she'd ever want to do that with me.

I rammed a hand threw my hair and then walked out of my office, needing to get some fresh air. Walking the grounds I noticed a few of the juveniles looking at me and then look away when they caught my gaze.

_I wonder what that was about._

Suddenly I was grabbed my shoulder, hauled around to see an angry Drew Kincaid, and the next thing my face connected with his face.

"Drew!" Indigo's screech filled the air.

The wolf in me pulled at the reins, teeth pulled back in a sneer, dying to get out and fight but I controlled it. I gave him my most withering glare. Drew didn't back down.

"What the fuck was that for?" I exclaimed and rubbed the side of my face. Good punch. Not that I was going to tell him that.

Drew growled, ready to hit me again, but when I growled back and fixed him with an icy cold stare. I pulled rank–in this situation I had to–No one punched their alpha without a good Goddamn reason. I saw in his eyes his wolf retreating.

"You knew how she felt about you," Drew spat. "Everyone knew and you spit in her face by sleeping with, Rosalie."

I narrowed my eyes at him. My jaw locked and I had to fight the urge not to hit him. But then suddenly, everything started to fall into place. Why Sienna looked at me with such hurt and betrayal. Why she wanted to leave the den and go down to DarkRiver. Her behaviour just a few minutes ago. She had found out about me and Rosalie. Oh God. How the hell had she found out? Well, I did tell her that I needed something Rosalie could give me. But I think she silently wished that I wouldn't.

"_We_ will discuss this later," I said through gritted teeth. "Where is she now?"

He hesitated before saying, "I don't know. I saw her take off in one of the SUV's."

I ran off, sniffing her wild spice scent in the air, leading me to her. God, I swear Sienna is the only person in my life to incite this reaction out of me. She drives me wild!

Moments later, I found her standing in the middle of an isolated clearing, deep into the interior of den territory as possible. She was surrounded by the tall bulk of dark green firs, her feet cushioned by millions of pine needles. Her whole body trembled, hands at her sides clenched into fists. I knew immediately what she was doing. She was earthing her powers.

"Stop." She said as her head snapped up as I came into view. "Stay back," she ordered me when I got closer to her, ignoring her.

"You don't scorch the earth when you release your power." I said.

"Hawke," she said through gritted teeth. I could tell she didn't want to hurt me. It would devastate her if she did. "Leave!"

I moved closer that were practically a breath away, my hands gripping at her waist. "I trust you. Trust yourself."

"Hawke!" Energy poured out of her in a screaming rush. Acting on primal instinct, she threw a shield of cold fire around over me a split second before she punched a massive pulse of the same fire into the earth. It rippled in an eerie wave of crimson and gold on the surface before sinking below the forest floor. _Beautiful_.

Then there was no more thought. There was only the brutal cold of an X.

Shuddering, she leaned against me only for the seconds it took her to get her legs working again. Then she shoved, surprising me into releasing her.

"You bastard! I could've killed you!" I could see the shock in her eyes, fighting with terror-fuelled rage for dominance.

"You're allowing fear to drive you," I responded. "Ming's still in your head, keeping you in a cage. Break out and own your ability."

"That's a load of bullshit!" She screamed. "You don't know anything about being an X!"

"Sienna –"

She laughed. Her laugh flavoured with bitterness. "You have no idea what I can do." The way she looked at me–eye full of fear–it made me want to wrap my arms around her and pull her towards me, whispering soothing things in her ear so that she knew she wouldn't have to be alone in this. So she knew there was nothing to fear. But I couldn't do that. "You felt the intensity of what I earthed. Yet I can do this." A single flick of her hand and X-fire encased a forest giant that had stood for centuries.

Ash, fine as dust, rose into the air between on blink and the next.

"Now you know.

I gritted my jaw as I saw her sway on her feet. "That was a singularly stupid thing to do."

"No," she replied, her voice growing weak. "_'Stupid'_ was not letting you burn."

I growled at her. How dare she talk to me like that? If she weren't a girl I'd have probably hit her. But she was a girl, so I held my ground, holding onto every ounce of self control I had left.

"Why are you here?" She spat at me.

I looked into her eyes. I could tell she was exhausted after the events of her powers, and knew that she was just fighting the urge to collapse just to start something with me and not look weak. So I ignored her question, grabbed her in a fireman's carry and threw her over my shoulder.

"Put me down." She gave a weak protest before her body went limp.

Worry tore through my veins, but I could feel her heartbeat, sense her breath. Focusing on that, I strapped her into the passenger seat before digging out my phone. "Sienna's unconscious," I said when Judd answered.

The other man took a second to reply. "She's fine. Her mind is intact."

Relief washed over me. "I'm going to strip her hide when she wakes up." Shutting the passenger door I jogged over to the driver's side and switched the phone to hands-free comm mode before beginning the drive back.

I gave him a play by play of what happened from the time I caught Sienna earth her powers, to the build up of what led her to collapse. We talked a bit more about what he thought might've happened to cause her to collapse and more about her powers and whether there was a way to stop it. He told me he had a few contacts out there looking for the things that he needed to get information about the X designation, but he still had nothing. And Judd was afraid that he was running out of time.

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><p><em><strong>Remember! Don't forget to review :DD ;)<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**_I know that it's taken me long to upload this next chapter, but I keep getting stuck. Anyway, I hope you like this and please let me know what you think . And if you have any ideas of what you want to happen then let me know and I'll consider it :D Please be patient with the next chapter because so far, all I'm doing is making things up on the go. Again, I hope you like it and don't forget to review._**

**_xoxo - ADarkTouch_**

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><p><strong>Sienna's POV<strong>

I woke up in the confines of my bed. My body ached, my head hurt and my throat felt dry. I wondered how I had gotten from the clearing to my bed. But then I remembered that Hawke had come out to find me and so I assumed that he had brought me back here. Then I remembered our argument and then everything going black. The memory of Hake and our heated discussion just downright pissed me off. How could he be so stupid, so careless, so... Hawke? I could've easily killed him and for him to put that on me was so selfish of him. If I had killed him then the pack would be without a leader and I'd be stricken with guilt, knowing that his death would be my fault.

"Selfish, ignorant, pigheaded bastard." I grumbled my voice coming out all croaky.

"Who's a 'selfish, ignorant, pigheaded bastard'?" A familiar male voice sounded from the doorway.

Since I was unconscious and had just woken up, I didn't really have the time to search my surroundings, so I didn't notice Hawke standing there watching me. The thought of him in my room, near my bed... well, let's just say that it did things to me.

I swung my legs off the bed and went to stand up against the wall, not wanting to be on my bed when and if he approached me. To be honest, I wanted to get far away from my bed. It was like I could just picture him and Rosalie together as if they were doing it right in front of me. Rosalie gripping the headboard as Hawke did so many erotic things to her. God, vile rose up in my mouth and this time I couldn't stop it from coming out. I ran to the bathroom, pushing past Hawke and placing my head over the toilet and letting it all come out.

"Sienna." I could hear the worry in my voice and I had to fight the urge to tell him that I was okay. To reassure him there was nothing to worry. But at this moment, I couldn't actually form any words.

My stomach hurt, not to mention my heart, and I just felt like everything was spinning.

I felt hands pull my hair up and gush of cold air hitting the back from my neck making me shiver. I wacked his hands away and moved over to the basin to rinse my mouth out, wanting to get rid of the bile taste.

"Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely worried. He probably was and I know I should've answered him, but since I'm stubborn and I'm... well, me, I chose not to answer. Physically I was fine, but emotionally, I was a complete wreck.

"Sienna–"

"What do you want?" I cut him off, turning to face him with a cold stare. "Why are you here?"

His eyes narrowed and he looked at me as if I was stupid or something. "I wanted to make sure you're okay after what happened yesterday."

I gestured to my standing figure. "Obviously," my voice sounding like a stubborn teenager who didn't get her way. "You can go now."

"Why do you have to make things so difficult?" Hawke growled as he thrust a hand through his tousled sliver-gold hair.

"Well if I make things so difficult," I snapped at him. "Then why are you here?"

"We need to talk," he said through gritted teeth. I could tell he was trying to keep a cool demeanour, but I guess it was hard when I kept... _acting out_. "About the things that you heard."

I knew what he meant. Someone must've told him I knew and now he wanted to, what? _Gossip_ about it? Discuss the details of his sex life? No thank you.

"No thanks," I spat.

He ignored me and carried on. "I told you that things between us–" he gestured between the two of us, "–can never... _be_. I'm sorry about the way that you found out, I really am. But you need to get over this... crush that you have."

Crush! _Crush! CRUSH!_ Are you fucking kidding me! "Don't act like this thing that's going on between us–whatever the hell it is–is one-sided, okay. I know you have feelings for me."

His jaw tightened and he said, "So what?"

I blinked a few times before saying. "What?"

"So what?" he said again. "So what if I admit to having feelings for you. Then what?"

I opened my mouth to say something, but now words came out.

"We can't be together, you know that." His voice was stern and calm.

"Why?" I asked not looking at him. "Is it because I'm Psy?"

He shook his head. "No, it's because of a lot of reasons."

I stood there and just stared at him for a long time, not saying anything, just taking in everything that he had said. I was emotionally drained. How could this one man hurt me so much? Everything I felt for him was all new to me, all these emotions were all new, and I don't know what to do with them and it's frustrating. I just wanted him to give me everything, give me all of him. But I knew that for him it was impossible.

Maybe I should give up? Maybe I should–for once–listen to him. I know I've told myself this before, but this time is for real. Maybe.

I closed my eyes. "Fine," I whispered so low that I didn't think he heard me. I opened my eyes again and looked him directly in the eyes and repeated the word again. "Fine, I'll do what you want. I'm tired of making a fool out of myself. You've made it very clear that you don't want me, that you don't think of me in _that_ sort of way, so fine. I get it." My voice was thick as I felt the lump form in my throat and tears brim my eyes.

It was silent for a while before I broke it and said, "Now if you don't mind, can you please leave."

His eyes narrowed before slowly retreating and making his way out the door. I crumbled the second the door closed. Tears spilling down my face one again over the alpha of SnowDancer.

I woke up the next morning, eyelids glued together, throat dry and scratch from crying myself to sleep yesterday. I had spent the whole day in bed, not even getting out to get something to eat, I just lay there all day with the blanket thrown over my head and let the salty water run down my face. God, I can't stop thinking about Hawke. I want not to think about him. I want not to feel this way about him. But I can't and it's killing me. But when I think of him, I think of Rosalie and then images start to flood my mind of their night together. To be honest, who knew I had such an active imagination. I wanted them not to be true. But wanting isn't getting.

There was a knock at the door. I thought about leaving whoever it was to just knock at my door, but then thought against it and got out of bed, groaning and rubbing at my dried up, tear-streak eyes. I opened the door to see Kit standing on my porch, flashing me with his trademark feline smile.

"Woah," his eyes showed concern, but he hid it with sarcasm. "Don't you look like a ray of sunshine."

I groaned and moved away from the door and into the little kitchen area to grab a glass of water. Kit followed silently and watched as I gulped down the drink. The water feeling so good as the coldness of it ran down my throat, clearing away the dryness and scratchiness. Finally turning to face him and staring him in the eyes, I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

All humour went out the door and he became serious. His face and eyes showed concern and pity. One look that I couldn't stand was pity. Those looks told me everything. Why he was here. He probably heard about Hawke and Rosalie and being a good friend that he was came to see how I was doing. Well, as much as I appreciated it. He could shove it.

"Save the pity." I told him, my voice sounding hoarse still.

He held his hands up, palms out, in a surrendering gesture. "Hey, no pity here. Just thought you could use a distraction from everything that's happened."

I scoffed at his statement. I needed more than a distraction. "Don't you have some business to attend to down at DarkRiver or something?"

Kit shrugged and jumped on my bed, laying down on my silk sheets and pillows with his hands behind his head and one leg folded over the other. I think I heard him purr a little bit but I wasn't too sure.

"I already talked to Luc and the only thing I have to do today is cheer you up," He winked at me and got up off my bed, making way to the door. "So I brought –" he pulled out a picnic basket "–this."

I sighed. "A picnic?"

He flashed me another feline smile and said, "I packed your favourite chocolates."

I shook my head at him and smiled.

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><p><strong>I'm going to write like a One Shot of Hawke and Sienna . I love these two. Their like my favourite couple in the Psy-Changeling series. But it'll probably take some time before I upload that lolz . I hope you liked today's chapter and don't forget to "REVIEW"! ;)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, I know it's been a long time since I've updated this story but here you go. I hope you like it and don't forget to review. Remember, I do not own anything it all belongs to Nalini Singh. I copied some of the stuff out of the book but I still hope you like it. Again, don't forget to review, I love to hear what you all have to say.**

**Oh and PS; I'm going to be gone for a week so I won't be updating till I get back. That's why I thought I'd better give you something before I go away. I will continue this story when I return and if you'll be patient with me than that'll be great :D**

**xoxo **

**ADarkTouch**

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><p>Kit took my hand, I should have pulled away but I didn't want to. I could like Kit. Maybe even love Kit. He was a good guy. He was smart, sexy and gorgeous. He was also y funny and could be charming in a way only a feline could be. He was the total package. I knew he had a thing for me and I wished right now, more than anything that I could have feelings for him. Anything. Just anything to help me get over the crushing heart ache I felt over a certain wolf.<p>

But I didn't have any feelings for him. At least not romantically. Kit was a friend, a very dear friend and that's just how it was going to be. Every now and then he would throw some innuendo at me or plant one on me but I never felt anything. No spark, not quiver in the knees, nothing. So did that mean I was going to love someone who didn't share the same feelings as I did forever?

I shook my head. Today was supposed to be cheering me up and having all these thoughts in my head was not going to be cheering me up. But if there was one person who could cheer me up while I was in a bad mood, it was Kit. And that's what I loved about him.

"I think I should tell someone where I am," I told Kit as he pulled me towards the woods. "I have to go on duty today and –"

"We won't go far," he interrupted. "I'll have you back before you go on duty, stop worrying."

"Okay." I said and just let him lead the way.

Kit was a good distraction and it felt nice to get away from the den for a little bit and just do something that didn't have me constantly focused on Hawke. It was just about distracting me and having some fun. And fun was exactly what I needed.

We spent the whole afternoon just talking and laughing and eating. And since I hadn't eaten in two days, I practically shovelled everything in my mouth. Kit smiled at saying he was lucky that he piled up heaps of food enough to feed a whole army. Or, me and him. Kit was a big eater, what with being changeling and burning a lot of calories with helping out DarkRiver and things, he had to be a big eater. But, being the gentlemen that he was, he offered most of the food to me. Which I thought was sweet. Even though I looked like a complete pig as I ate. Still, it was nice of him.

It was easy to be with Kit. Be around him. He made everything so easy. And it was a shame that, after everything, that I still didn't feel the slightest bit of chemistry between us. I wanted to feel it. I wanted so bad to feel it. But I didn't. Couldn't. Not when I had the insatiable hunger for a wolf. It angered me, but I couldn't change my feelings. They don't just switch off just like that. Even though I prayed they would.

Anyway, after devouring every food and drink in sight in the picnic basket, and laying on the grass looking up at the clear blue sky, we packed up and headed back to the den. It was a comfortable silence on the walk home, but I could feel something building up in the air and I turned to look at Kit and saw him staring right at me. I blushed a little, but didn't remove my gaze.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I know you've got strong feelings for Hawke," he said, angling his shoulders to face me, "but are you sure you're ready for him?"

I had asked myself the same question and found only one answer.

"I'll never know unless he gives us a chance."I closed my hand over his. "Maybe I'll discover I've taken on more than I can handle," I admitted, because Hawke was never going to be an easy lover–if I even got him to consider the idea of a relationship. And I know that I said that I was going to back off, and that I promised that yesterday was going to be my last time to go after him so I could save myself the humiliation, but I couldn't. He consumed my every thought and I just couldn't get him out of my head. It was inevitable. "But I know, I _know_, that I can't sit by and watch him go to another woman."

"From what I heard," he replied with a worrisome look, "he already has."

Yeah, Hawke did go to another woman. But he told me that it was just a physical act. If I could get him to cave and give us a chance then Rosalie wouldn't be a problem. I just know it. It didn't mean that I was going to forget about him sleeping with Rosalie, but I wasn't going to hold it over him either. Yeah I was hurt that he gave into his needs, but he was a man and I couldn't hold it against him. We weren't–aren't–together... yet.

Kit gave me an intense gaze. "You've really thought about it."

"No," I replied shakily. "I promised him and myself that I would give up and get over my _'Crush'_ as he put it, and save myself the humiliation. But I can't. I can't shut it off even if I wanted to."

Kit turned up his hand to squeeze mine, a feline smile in his eyes, "My money's on you."

Leaning forward to press my lips to his cheek, I said, "Now I just have to figure out what to do next to get his attention."

I mischievous grin splattered over his face, eyes gone cat-like, "I think I have a way."

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

"This is so not going to work." I say as I looked at the clothes that Evie had pulled out for me.

"Kit was right," Evie replied. "If you want Hawke, you have to use everything to your advantage to get him."

"Yeah," Kit butted in. "You're already in his head, now you have to use it. Drive him insane –"

"She already does." Evie winked at me.

I shook my head at them. "How do you know this will work?" I looked between Evie and Kit.

Kit was the one who answered. "Because I can all but sense his jealousy when you are around me. The way he looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off. Besides, honey, you're hard to forget."

I blushed at the word 'honey'. There was no sign of affection or anything, just friendliness, it meant nothing. Although he wished there was.

Evie squealed and pulled out a pair of tight, dark blue skinny jeans that showed off my well defined legs and made me look much taller than I was, and it also showed off my butt–or so Evie told me. She pulled out a top that looked beautiful and elegant. It was a backless black silk cowl top, it hung down a bit in the front and I didn't have to wear a bra. My breast stayed up fine and it looked great. I put on my knee length brown leather heeled boots, made my Ralph Lauren, and turned to look in the mirror. I looked pretty great if I do say so myself. My hair hung over my shoulders in a wave of fire and all that was left was for me to put on some make up. Evie wanted to throw all these make-up products on my face, but I didn't like the idea of having my face plastered on with it like I was a canvas and someone was painting me. It suffocated my skin and I didn't like it. I just threw on some lip gloss, mascara, foundation and a little bit of blush and then I was all set to go. **(Check out the outfit on my page)**

Evie squealed at the look of me, and I think she was more excited for Kit's plan then I was. I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach and my palms started to sweat. I closed my eyes for a second and took a couple of deep breaths.

It was going to be okay. Kit's plan would work. I hope.

Evie and I walked outside to where everyone else was. They all turned to look at me and I blushed and looked away as some of them clapped and wolf whistled and appraised my look. I looked up at Kit as we walked to my side. He did a twirling motion with his fingers, asking me to twirl for him so he could see everything, so I did. And then I heard him give off a small groan.

"I need a cold shower." Kit said aloud and my cheek flushed.

I punched him on the arm as everyone started to laugh.

"Come on," Kit smiled and put an arm on my back. "Let's get this plan into motion."

That kicked me back into reality and out of my blushing state. I was suddenly confident now more than ever. I wanted this to work, I needed this to work.

"Let's do it." I said.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

We were at club Wild for about an hour and a half. Kit wouldn't leave my side, making sure that people saw what he was doing, especially Jose. She was our ticket to getting Hawke down here. If she caught me doing anything... inappropriate, then she would call Hawke and he would be down here in two seconds flat. I grabbed Kit by the hand and pulled him on to the dance floor. The dancing was completely innocent; there was no grinding of any sort, just a friendly dance. The music was blaring through the speakers around the room, bodies swayed along to the music and hands fisted in the air, pumping up and down to the beat. It was nice. For once, I felt like there was no weight on my shoulders, no worries. For once, what I was doing was _fun_. I hadn't had much of that in a while. I felt free and that was a good thing.

After a while of dancing, Kit and I made it back to the bar and took a seat each on a stool. I had another idea pop in my head. Jose wasn't going to call Hawke unless I did something wild, something, stupid, something so not me. So I ordered a couple drinks. Alcohol was never something I took when we went out because it messed with my powers and you never knew when I needed them.

When the bartender finished mixing up my drink I secretly pushed it towards Kit, telling him to drink after I told him my plan. He downed the whole thing as if it was a glass of water and then screwed up his face. I ordered a few more and surreptitiously passed them to Kit, even though he didn't like it, he still drunk them anyway.

He made a face. "Did you have to order this girly shit?"

"I am a girl, in case you failed to notice." The Vodka's I ordered were easy to get rid of–the colourless liquid blended in with the empty or ice cube–filled glasses the wait staff cleared away on a regular basis.

Shuddering, Kit made quick work of the butterscotch liqueur and slid the glass over before anyone was the wiser as to who had taken the actual drink.

"Dear God that was foul." He gulped his beer. "That's the last one I'm doing for you."

"I think that should do the trick. Jose's giving me the eye." I smiled goofily at the bartender, playing drunk.

The big deer changeling gave her a stare as flat as any wolf's.

Deciding not to push my luck, I dipped my head toward Kit and pressed my lips to his cheek and said, "When should I climb on the bar again?"

"Given the time Jose made the call, and how fast Hawke is probably driving, I'd say in about two minutes."

"Good," picking up my cell phone from where it sat on the bar, I tucked it into my back pocket, having not brought a purse. "That gives you two minutes to get out."

"I'm not running." Pure affront.

I had been in a pack long enough to understand male pride–even stupid male pride. "It's not running. You'll mess up my whole plan if Hawke's focused on you instead of me."

"Huh." Finishing off his beer, he rose off the bar stool.

Then he did something completely, totally unexpected. Hauling me against his body, he took my mouth in a hot, wild tangle of a kiss that spoke of the man he would one day become. My heart was pumping double–time by the time he finished. "Um, well, that was..." Okay, I thought, okay. Maybe we didn't have the combustible chemistry I had with Hawke, but Kit could get me into bed if he put his mind to it. And that was a surprise. "Not nice," I finally managed to get out. "A very 'not nice' kiss."

Smiling in masculine satisfaction, Kit rocked back on his heels. "Fair warning–now you smell like me in an intimate way. He's not going to like that."

Cunning cat. Good thing he was on my side. "Showtime."

Kit leaned in to speak with his lips brushing my ear. "I won't be far. If he's too out of control, I'll get you out."

"He won't hurt me." Of that I was more certain that I was of anything else in my life. "Haul me up."

Kit lifted me onto the bar beside another girl, a slender leopard female who blew me a kiss. Whistles sounded from around the bar as Kit melted away, leaving the two of us silhouetted against the electric blue lights of the glass wall behind the bar, the bottles of alcohol so many glittering jewels against the glow. Well aware Nicki was flirting with me to tease Jason, I blew back a kiss, and the bar exploded.

The crowd was chanting "kiss, kiss, kiss" when Hawke walked inside.

That was when I learned the meaning of the term _alpha_.

He didn't say a word, didn't so much as make a sound, but as soon as one person saw him, they nudged another. It took less than thirty seconds for the club to go deadly silent, Jose turning off the music at the same instant.

Nicki slid down the bar into Jason's arms, mouth "Good luck," at me before she disappeared into the group of DarkRiver youths in one corner.

Reaching the bar, Hawke looked up. It was the wolf who watched me, the wolf who said, "Shoulder or feet?"

I swallowed. "Feet."

"Good choice." He didn't step back as I sat down and slipped off the bar, his body heat slapping against her bare skin with masculine aggressiveness.

Suddenly, the silk backless top that I wore didn't seem like such a great idea. It left me feeling butt naked, my back bare, and my breast all but spilling out the front of my top. With my breath coming in jagged bursts, it felt as if I was offering my breast to him with each inhale.

Hawke didn't say a single world, gave no indication that he'd noticed her state of dress as he put his hand on my lower back and herded me to the door.

I almost went.

Halfway there, I dug in my heels, determined to make him admit he wasn't just here to pick up a pack member who'd had too much to drink. But one look at his face and I knew it'd be a _very_ bad idea to confront him here. I could see Nicki and Evie over his shoulder, frantically shaking their heads. Jason was wincing, but edging forward while Kit and Tai had begun to shoulder their way through the crowd–as if to protect me.

Their loyalty ignited a deep warmth with her.

Sliding my arm through Hawke's, I pressed my breast against the part of his arm bared by the short sleeves of his white T-shirt. "Where's the car?" I didn't bother to slur my voice. His senses were too acute to have missed the fact that she was stone–cold sober.

"Good luck," the bouncer muttered as she passed, not even making a token attempt at pretending he was going to stand in Hawke's way.

If I'd been him, I wouldn't have either.

Because unlike the other night, Hawke didn't look pissed. This was an anger that went deeper, ran far colder. Why the difference, I didn't know... until we got to the SUV, and he leaned down to growl, "You smell of another man."

My body flared with sensation at the heat of him so close, but I wasn't about to surrender and lose the ground I'd gained. "Yeah, well, I'm not a wolf, but I'm guessing you smell of another woman."

He bit me. No warning, no nothing. His teeth just sank into the curve where my neck flowed into my shoulders. I jumped, felt his arms lock onto my hips. My spine was melting, my skin taut in expectation–but if I gave in now, it was all over. _Think, Sienna, think_. Close to impossible when he was surrounding me, when he was taking me over. Damp heat bloomed between my legs, and his nostrils flared. _Oh, God_.

I did what I did back in his office when he bit me. I raised a fine line of X-fire where he gripped me.

He wrenched away with a snarl, just like before. "Do that again and my bite won't be so nice." The wolf owned him right now. It was in his voice, in his eyes.

I raised a hand to my shoulder, touching the lingering heat of his bite. The bite mark still wet from his saliva. "Bite me again and I'll do more than give you a little burn."

He growled and I couldn't contain the gasp that left my lips, as he was in my face in the blink of an eye.

We stood there in silence for a bit as he traced he bit mark with his thumb. "Why are you half-naked?" An almost careless question... except that his free hand was on my lower back again, and this time, he was using the rough pads of his fingers to stroke my exposed back. Slow and easy. And again.

I shivered.

"You're cold."

He tried to throw me into the SUV but I wouldn't move, even though he could've thrown me into the car with or without my help.

"I'm not cold."

He stood there for a long time just tracing the bit mark on my neck and staring into my eyes. I felt my cheeks burn and they looked probably the same colour as my hair. I was so self-conscious right now and I couldn't afford to be.

After what felt like hours, he walked over to the passenger side and pulled out a bottle of water from the holder between the seats, he said, "Wash off his scent."

My thighs clenched at the possessive demand in that tone, and I folded my arms. "No."

A low growl filled the air, tightening my nipples to painful points. Unsettled–though not shocked–by the visceral depth of my response, I was attempting to find some solid ground when he pulled me to him and pinned me to the side of the car. "Then I'll do it." Pale, pale eye gone night-glow, a voice so calm as to make it patently clear the predator was well and truly off the leash.

Difficult as it was to withstand the impact of his dominance, I reminded myself his wasn't the only power. "Touch me and I'll singe your eyebrows off."

A shrug. "They'll grow back." He pulled out an unused handkerchief from his front pocket and dampened it in the water.

"Hey!" I pushed back at him but he just pinned me back against the door of the SUV, his thighs bracketing mine so there was no way for me to get out.

"You wanted to play, baby." Soft words that had me freezing in place. "So we'll play."

My mouth went dry as he ran the damp cloth over my lips with piercing focus. I knew I should protest his actions, but my voice seemed to have deserted me with him so close–so big and gorgeous and furious that he took over every inch of space, every breath of air. "There," he murmured, running the cloth down my neck and over my shoulder before leaning down to press his lips to the bite mark.

Arousal twisted through my body, until I had to sink my teeth into my lower lip to still my moan. That wasn't a sensitive zone. I knew that. And yet I didn't dare move for fear he'd stop his delicious torture. Another kiss, wet and hot. His hair brushing against my skin as he licked the mark, each strand a searing brand.

"Next time that cub puts his hands on you," he said, raising his head after another lingering taste of my skin, "I'll tear out his throat and feed it to him."

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